Monday, August 29, 2005

Questions for a Monday

I was contemplating the Mystery of the Disappearing Socks this morning while ranting and raving my way down the freeway to work. Of course, everyone has a theory about this and many comedians have incorporated it into their act, and even Family Guy showed Peter getting sucked into Narnia where Pan ran off with his sock. But that still doesn't explain it to my satisfaction, damn it. Anyone have any thoughts on this? And actually, while I'm on the subject, am I the only person who gets the urge to try to squeeze into the dryer, just to see if I'll fit?

You ever wonder if those people who expose themselves in their Ebay photos of some mundane household object like a kettle are your neighbours?

If you had to choose one person to cook and eat, who would you choose and why? Personally, I think I'd pick Fiona Apple - she's mostly bone, so you wouldn't be eating leftovers forever, nor would your freezer have five billion Tupperware containers marked "Fiona" taking up space for months on end.

If you're wondering where I've been, I started an adoption blog elsewhere, and have been writing in that more often. Plus I just don't seem to have anything to say anymore that doesn't sound all insane and rambly (see above). Although, I'm fairly sure no one visits me anymore, so really this blog has become just one long ramble at myself.

.:6 comments | baked by pie at 1.34 PM | permalink:.



Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The Tuesday of Lists

Things my dogs would say if they had the power of speech
  • My, your ass smells nice.
  • You've got one sexy leg there, mind if I hump it?
  • Oh boy! I get to eat dry kibble again!
  • I dare you to poop in the kitchen [to the other dog].
  • Haha! I just licked my ass before licking your face.
  • Guess what I just did behind the couch. Go on, guess.
Little Known Prequels/Sequels:
  • A Little Lunch at Tiffany's
  • Some Like it Tepid
  • Apocalypse Someday
  • Lightly Smouldering Saddles
  • The Brothers Grumpy
  • Star Quarrels
  • I'm a Huge Slut [sequel to Never Been Kissed]

.:3 comments | baked by pie at 11.54 AM | permalink:.



Monday, August 15, 2005

I try not to do too many memes, because they're really only interesting to me, but this one just seemed so me that I had to. So pfft.

Monday Music Mambo - Week 63

01. What artist, group or song(s) or lyrics come to mind when you hear the words: Woodstock, groovy, peace and love. I'm going to go for the obvious answer and say Woodstock by Crosby Stills Nash & Young. Yeah, I know that Joni Mitchell wrote it, but CSNY's version was so much better. Then of course, there's Sister Golden Hair by America, or Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf, or Tangled Up in Blue by Dylan. I could go on for hours.

02. If you were going to Woodstock which bus would you get on, The Magic Bus or the Love Bus or would you just sit at the bus stop and let the festival pass you by? The Love Bus, of course.

03. If you had been at Woodstock 1969 would you have been a biker, a hippy, a musician, a groupie, a vendor, a curious local gawking at the freaks or something else we haven't mentioned here? I would have liked to have been a musician, but more than likely I would have been a hippy, and possibly one of the freaks being gawked at.

04. Many artists have recorded the song, Woodstock. What current artist or band do you think would be perfect to cut a new version of Woodstock. I don't think it needs to be covered ever again. Just leave it alone. CSNY recorded the definitive version, as far as I'm concerned.

05. Caption this picture.

click to enlarge in new window


"We need a shower."

06. If you could go back to Woodstock 1969 and only see three performances, which ones would they be and what particular song would you have wanted to hear them perform? For your convenience, below is a list of Woodstock performers. If you don't know the music of Woodstock, you can go here [pops] to see the artists and the songs they performed. I'd have wanted to see CSNY, Janis - oh what I wouldn't give to have seen Janis, Jimi and the last one is a toss-up between Jefferson Airplane and CCR. I almost said Joan Baez, but she only played a short set.

Joan Baez, The Band, Blood, Sweat and Tears, The Paul Butterfield Blues Band, Canned Heat, Joe Cocker, Country Joe and the Fish, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, Grateful Dead, Arlo Guthrie, Tim Hardin, Keef Hartley, RIchie Havens, Jimi Hendrix, Incredible String Band, Janis Joplin, Jefferson Airplane, Melanie Mountain, Quill, Santana, John Sebastian, Ravi Shankar, Sha Na Na, Sly and the Family Stone, Bert Sommer, Sweetwater, Ten Years After, The Who, Johnny Winter

07. Now choose three songs from that list and choose three current artists to perform them. Current artist? You're kidding right? Like I know any. I'll do my best.
White Rabbit performed by Ravi Shankar's daughter - her name escapes me at present
Suite Judy Blue Eyes performed by the Steve Miller Band
Born On The Bayou performed by Primus

.:2 comments | baked by pie at 1.53 PM | permalink:.



Thursday, August 11, 2005

Mostly Fives

I came across this in my travels, but sadly forgot where I found it. And it's taken me three days to finish, since I'm lazy. Anyway, it's Meme Thursday here at Piefilling.net.

Ten years ago (August 1995):
I can't be expected to remember what I was doing that long ago. So I'm just going to take a guess here, I'm sure Rob will correct me if I'm wrong. We'd been married about three months, and I believe I was working at a sandwich shop/cafe in Harrow. It sucked, but it was a step up from having been homeless, so I really shouldn't complain. We were living in Willesden in London, in the top flat of a terraced house that had actually been condemned, although we didn't know that. The summer was an awkward time in that flat, since the gay couple who lived below us enjoyed afternoon nookie and when it was hot they tended to leave their windows open, so I got to hear the entire live show. I should've sold tickets.

Five years ago (August 2000):
In August 2000, I'd been in my first real web development job for about 6 months (although I'd had a short dev contract with Saltmine, but don't get me started on that), and I was absolutely loving it. I was able to dye my hair bright red (I think I was magenta for awhile) again, wear jeans and t-shirts to work, and use my brain daily in a job I adored. Sadly, I had to leave that job in 2002, when my boss said, "I won't be able to pay you guys regularly for awhile, since we're not getting in much new business". I stayed for about another 6 months after that little chat and when I left, he owed me about $17,000, which I finally got back after threatening legal action months later. It's really a shame, I loved that job and the people... but that's what you get for working for small web dev companies. Oh wait. That's what I'm doing now.

One year ago (August 2004):
I was stuck in a dead-end job that I loathed, had quit my band, and had really stopped going out, so there's really not much to say about that.

Yesterday:
I stayed home from work because I had another of these 'not enough blood is getting to my head' headaches that lasted two days. I worked my arse off anyway, though, as we've got a 6pm Friday deadline for the launch of the site I'm working on.

Today:
I'm in the office alone, so it's nice and peaceful. The site is complete two days before the deadline, so I'm just testing and tidying things up. When that's done, I'll probably go home early since I'll need to work from home again tomorrow, which is supposed to be my day off, just to make sure the launch goes smoothly.

Tomorrow:
Er didn't I just answer that? Rob and I are going to take in a Rainiers game tomorrow night. Yes, we know they suck. No, we don't care. We don't go for great ball-playing, we go for the small-town ballgame feel and the overpriced beer. Well, I don't get any beer anymore, but Rob does.

5 Snacks I Enjoy:
Right now I'm on a toasted, salted almond kick. I'm sure it'll disappear as quickly as it arrived, as do most of my weird food tastes. Right now, I'm not much on snacking - I'm not really much on food altogether, actually. I'm pretty much living on cereal and toast, with some cheese and fruit thrown in. One of these days the list of food I like/will eat is going to dwindle down to nothing and I'm going to need a feeding tube. Or Rob can just shove a funnel in my mouth and dribble food into it, so it bypasses all my taste buds.

5 Bands/Singers that I know the lyrics of most of their songs:
Primus, Nine Inch Nails, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, David Bowie.

5 Things I Would Do With $100,000,000:
Get us new cars and donate the old ones to charity, pay off our debts, start a horse & dog rescue on a ranch somewhere, adopt a baby and get my cult off to a roaring start.

5 Locations I'd Like to Run Away to:
London, Tibet, Italy, Norway, Hawaii.

5 Things I Like Doing:
Reading, writing, playing/listening to music, coding, taking over the world.

5 TV Shows I Like:
Family Guy, of course, The Simpsons, Monk, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (shut up) and Millennium - Seasons 1 and 2, anyway. They ruined it in Season 3.

5 Famous People I'd Like to Meet:
Stephen King, Kurt Vonnegut, Trent Reznor, Drew Barrymore, Hal Sparks.

5 Biggest Joys at the Moment:
The possibility that we'll be adopting sometime soon (we're working on our homestudy now, woo!), Rob, the hounds and my leeeetle dinosaur... er gecko (isn't he gorgeous?), and my job.

.:4 comments | baked by pie at 11.23 PM | permalink:.



Thursday, August 04, 2005

An open letter to Tom Cruise

Dear Nutball,

While I reluctantly admit to being amused and entertained by your recent descent into madness, in all truthfulness, you're starting to annoy me. I hope you can see the irony in your insanity-induced ranting about psychiatry. Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with Brooke altogether either - not about the post-partum depression, but with her decision to advertise the fact that she wanted to kill either herself or her child. I can't imagine how the kid's going to feel reading about that later in life. "Gee, my mum wanted to kill me...", coupled with teenaged angst, could have unfortunate results. But that's a rant for another day. At least one of us should stay focused, Tom, and it certainly won't be you.

If this is a publicity stunt, please stop. I know there's a common saying that any advertising is good advertising, but that's not so. I honestly was never a huge fan of yours, but I have to admit to quite liking a few of your films: Vanilla Sky, Eyes Wide Shut, Minority Report. But these days, I can't imagine being able to watch one of your films without being completely distracted by your aggressive "I've learned everything there is to know through Scientology osmosis" stance on every. single. issue. that crops up. You are not a psychiatrist, although it seems as though you should probably start seeing one in a professional capacity.

Which brings me to Katie Holmes and your over-the-top behaviour concerning your relationship. If you don't want people to believe this relationship is a sham, you might want to tone down your behaviour. I don't care how enamoured you are with your new paramour, no one and I mean no one, behaves like that in a new relationship - and if they did, they certainly wouldn't be in that relationship for long. If you really loved her, you might take a second to realise that you're also ruining her career. Not only have you (or Scientology – like it makes much of a difference either way) wrecked her face [pops], but people are starting to wonder about her sanity in staying with you. To further drive this point home, I direct you to the following sites:
Tom Cruise is Nuts
An article about FreeKatie.net - the site appears to be down [pops]

When the men with the butterfly nets arrive, make sure you let them know not to medicate you while you're sitting in your little padded cell trying to chew off your own lips. Personally, I think a little Lithium might go a long way for you, but I'm no expert in psychiatry and medications, as you so obviously are.

In closing, Tom, you may not believe in psychiatry/ chemical imbalances/ insanity, but they obviously believe in you. You might want to have a little listen to the tiny, quiet voice in your head that is being drowned out by the loud, crazy one, because I'm sure if you could hear it, it would be saying, "Shut the hell up, you oaf!"

Sincerely,
Pie

.:3 comments | baked by pie at 1.21 PM | permalink:.



Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Hump day horrors

Wow, you know I've been slacking when Rob has been posting more often than I have.

I finally got my car back yesterday. I can't imagine why anyone would ever willingly buy a Chevy Malibu, after having driven a rental for a couple of days. Thing drove like a tin can on wheels, only slightly less comfortable than said tin can. Anyway, what happened was last Thursday, I'm driving along the freeway minding my own business, when the guy in front of me suddenly swerves onto the left shoulder (I was, of course, cruising along in the passing lane). I assumed he was a) on his cellphone; b) your average asshat driver; c) being attacked by a rabid wolverine; or d) all of the above so I wasn't really worried.

By the time I realised that he'd actually had a reason to swerve, it was too late for me to avoid the large plastic box in the middle of my lane. I drove right over it, it got stuck under my car and caused me to swerve erratically onto the shoulder myself. It eventually shot out the back of my car and nearly hit the woman behind me. Joy. Anyway, the upshot was that it ripped a couple of holes in my power steering line, so it was in the shop from Saturday until yesterday.

I'm going completely insane from trying to install Linkpoint API credit card processing onto a site I'm working on right now. From doing a Google search on the various errors I'm getting, it seems like a lot of people are dissatisfied with their service. I had no problems at all installing the PHP version for a previous site, but the .NET version is a nightmare. Not only do they not include all the .dll files you need, but there's no actual documentation on how to set it up. It's not like that part's difficult, but there's no backup documentation so you have to read through every line of code to find out which processes are being called from which files. Le sigh.

I imagine most of you either skipped that, or are sitting there with a glazed look on your face like Rob gets when I start talking shop, so I'll shut up now.

.:2 comments | baked by pie at 2.50 PM | permalink:.